Rants, Raves, and Limericks -- Moyleabbey Organic Farm

I'm starting this post from my tiny nook of a bedroom in the Moyleabbey WWOOFers quarters. I have added a hot water bottle to supplement my Smartwool ensemble, and am quite satisfied with the results. I just finished my acupuncture session with Yuki, so am in a state of almost sublime relaxation. I would probably be passed out right now, enjoying blissful dreams of a world sans chickweed, had I not indulged in a glass of Irish coffee before submitting myself to acupuncture. I did indulge, however, so I am going to make good use of this relaxed body and over-alert mind and write another blog for my dear family, chronicling yet another week of ho hum WWOOFing adventuring with this atypical Irish family.

Amy and David are considerate, clean, good-humored roommates, and GOD, it's nice to have people to talk to again. I Skype Alex every day (nearly), but I can't really vent to him regarding my Moyleabbey frustrations, as the whole family would hear every heated word I'd say (for how bloody cold this country is, they sure make the walls mighty thin.). But I vented to Amy in our trailer today, and it felt so very nice. It was reassuring to know that it wasn't just me being ultra-sensitive, unreasonable, and lazy for thinking that this farm makes WWOOFing a bit too impersonal, time consuming, and physically demanding. As an experienced WWOOFer herself, she agreed that our treatment here is less than ideal. She and David are actually thinking of skipping out early, they find the arrangement here so unsavory. Amy said that it's her "Irish guilt" keeping her at the farm, but David is from Miami, so he lacks the overactive Irish guilt complex. I anticipate they might follow through with their premature volunteer resignation, as they are already decidedly exasperated, and this was by FAR the easiest week out of the four I've spent here.

We harvested broad beans, French beans, plums, celery, cabbage, brussel sprouts, carrots, beets, onions, turnips, basil, cucumbers, zucchini, kale, and lettuce. We washed, boxed, and bagged everything. We shelled 30 kilos of broad beans. We composted. We cooked. We cleaned the kitchen. We looked after Mimi and answered the millionth "why?"

But we did not weed. If I pulled a single weed this week, it was by accident. Thus, for me, the work week nearly flew by as four days of unending harvesting bliss. I was also able to cook dinner for the family three out of the four day, so my culinary cravings were somewhat sated. It's very difficult to cook in a household where an egg substitute paste is the norm, the imposter "carob" is used instead of chocolate, fermented wheat protein has the audacity to parade itself as meat, oat/rice/soymilk as dairy milk, and sunflower oil as butter. Since I've been here, the family has been purchasing meat, eggs, butter, and milk; but the quantities are so small that they only serve to whet my carnivorous appetite. I don't fully understand how Liam expects six eggs to last seven people a full week, or how one unassuming 8 oz steak can be divided seven ways and still be substantial. I continue to bike to the butcher shop every weekend to buy myself eggs and meat for the week, as even my modestly sized stomach requires more than 6/7ths of an egg and a slice of beef the size of my nettle swollen pinky.

Needless to say, there is usually little to none of the eggs, butter, or meat remaining with which to cook a dinner for seven. I made my spicy brownies with carob and egg substitute. Part of me died a little.

Pauline in the French beans

Mimi stealing my hat. And not holding still for a picture.

The slugs are prolific and enormous

Mimi napping in the broad beans

It finally stopped raining long enough to make a rainbow

Aimee's Tips for WWOOFers

Find a farm that's small. A big vegetable or fruit farm means a colossal amount of weeding. At these farms, WWOOF ought to stand for Willing Weeders On Organic Farms. If you don't fancy pulling up chickweed for five hours every day, try to stay at the five acre mark.

Pick a farm where the garden is a hobby that the owners need a little extra help with, and not the main source of income. If it is the main source of income, the reason you're there is most likely because they couldn't afford to hire anyone -- not because they need a few hours of help and appreciate the cultural exchange.

Make sure to ask about your schedule. If someone says, "We work 9-6, Tuesday - Friday, with a 10 minute break at 11:00 and an hour and a half break for lunch," beware. The strict schedule will make you feel much more like an unpaid employee than a part of the family. A much more palatable answer would be, "We feed the animals at about nine every morning, and then see what needs to be done around the farm." At these places, workdays can be long or short, but it is a much more relaxed, family-like atmosphere.

Ask about the living situation. Many farms post information on their profiles that is no longer accurate. Moyleabbey's profile said that a cabin and a trailer were available for WWOOFers. This led all of us to assume that we would enjoy the privacy of one or the other. However, Liam and Yuki recently converted the heated cabin into an acupuncture studio, so they threw all the WWOOFers together into the unheated trailer. I didn't expect to be staying with the French couple. On the drive to the farm my first day, Liam offhandedly said, "Oh, by the way, you'll be sharing the trailer with a French couple." Amy and David didn't know they'd be sharing the trailer with me. On the drive to the farm their first day, Liam offhandedly said, "Oh, by the way, you'll be sharing the trailer with another Aimee. Isn't that funny?" They were unamused, however, as one of the reasons they'd chosen this place was for the privacy of their own trailer in which to reevaluate their career plans. I knew they wouldn't be expecting me, so I was very awkward about being here the first few days of their placement. But after we got it out in the open that neither party expected or particularly wanted the other party in the trailer, we've been getting along swimmingly.

If you're not vegetarian, try to steer clear of vegetarian farms. Even if they say they'll accommodate your carnivorous habits, it probably means they'll just buy you an 8 oz steak for the week. And then be surprised that you ate the whole thing.

In Ireland, bring long-underwear, hats, rain gear, slippers, and a hot water bottle. Expect to grow addicted to a hot cup of coffee or tea in the morning.

As these recommendations and observations are based solely on two starkly contrasting farms, I reserve the right to edit this list as I continue to WWOOF about the Irish countryside.

I am going to interview Liam and John before I leave tomorrow. That'll make 13 interviews in Europe.

I was presented with the Moleabbey Book of WWOOFers yesterday. It is a book in which previous volunteers thank the family for how much they learned here, and go into raptures about the wonderful time they've had. I told Amy and David about the book, and they said, "Of course. They have to be polite. You'll probably be polite too."

However, I am not well known for my tact, politeness, or reserve. I decided to write the family a very bad limerick, thanking them for a few things, and blessing their future endeavors.

It goes something like this...

Thanks to Liam for not sending me hence

When I crashed your tractor into the fence.

May your sweetcorn grow tall,

Stinging nettles stay small,

And your brussel sprout harvest be immense.

Thanks to Yuki for magnificent meals;

Complying to this carnivore's appeals.

May your needles stay sharp,

Your table never warp,

As you continue your practice that heals.

Thanks to Kai for always making me think;

For driving "why" to its absolute brink.

May your questions not fail

To get answers that sail,

But have patience when a brain's got a kink.

Thanks to Mimi for your contagious laugh;

Greatly amusing us WWOOFer riffraff.

May your belly stay full,

God grant you hair to pull,

And a bib that lasts a meal and a half.

I start my next placement in Kilkenny tomorrow. Wish me luck!

A few more pictures of the farm:

Some of Liam's accidental red carrots 

The acupuncture studio

Amy and Mimi

Mimi

An overladen plum tree

The crabapples here are enormous

The pear and apple orchard

Last night at Moyleabbey